Josiah
Josiah is 18, bisexual, homeless and shunned by most of his family and childhood friends.
From a very young age, Josiah’s parents were concerned with his sexuality. “Ever since I was a toddler, my parents said they knew that I was going to struggle with homosexuality. So, in real people terms that’s, ‘I know my kid’s gay.’”
These early signs did not make it easier for Josiah or his parents to accept his sexuality. Raised in a strict Catholic home, Josiah was homeschooled for several years and then attended a private Catholic high school, which he was kicked out of for being gay. Josiah’s parents also sent him to many spiritual retreats, trying to make their gay son straight.
Acceptance from his friends and family wasn’t Josiah’s most challenging struggle; it was learning to question his religious upbringing and accept himself. The “effort to be straight” became Josiah’s internal battle, especially since he was raised to believe his attraction to males would condemn him to hell. He explains, “I couldn’t be open about it growing up because being gay is considered the ultimate sin in the category of lust. Like the ultimate sin in the category of violence would be murder… I was really strong in what I believed. I would have daily conversations with what I believed is God. When my sexuality really hit me, I’d sit in the shower and just scream and cry because everything I ever was taught ,and everything I ever believed to be wrong was who I was.”
Even though Josiah was thrown away by his family and has no relationship with his mother, he understands her struggle. “My parents feel for me because they are who they are and that’s not going to change. And, you want to be straight for the people you love because they’re going through so much pain. A lot of times people are like, ‘Oh yeah, gay people go through so much, but, parents of gay people have to go through a lot, too.”
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From a very young age, Josiah’s parents were concerned with his sexuality. “Ever since I was a toddler, my parents said they knew that I was going to struggle with homosexuality. So, in real people terms that’s, ‘I know my kid’s gay.’”
These early signs did not make it easier for Josiah or his parents to accept his sexuality. Raised in a strict Catholic home, Josiah was homeschooled for several years and then attended a private Catholic high school, which he was kicked out of for being gay. Josiah’s parents also sent him to many spiritual retreats, trying to make their gay son straight.
Acceptance from his friends and family wasn’t Josiah’s most challenging struggle; it was learning to question his religious upbringing and accept himself. The “effort to be straight” became Josiah’s internal battle, especially since he was raised to believe his attraction to males would condemn him to hell. He explains, “I couldn’t be open about it growing up because being gay is considered the ultimate sin in the category of lust. Like the ultimate sin in the category of violence would be murder… I was really strong in what I believed. I would have daily conversations with what I believed is God. When my sexuality really hit me, I’d sit in the shower and just scream and cry because everything I ever was taught ,and everything I ever believed to be wrong was who I was.”
Even though Josiah was thrown away by his family and has no relationship with his mother, he understands her struggle. “My parents feel for me because they are who they are and that’s not going to change. And, you want to be straight for the people you love because they’re going through so much pain. A lot of times people are like, ‘Oh yeah, gay people go through so much, but, parents of gay people have to go through a lot, too.”
Back to Out of Respect
